While I was on Maui for my 9 day “me” fest I realized that so many of us are constantly on the hook preventing us from experiencing who we truly are and finding that alignment that is so essential to balance and freedom to express yourself.
When was the last time you turned your phone off with the intention of taking a break just for you? The practice of taking yourself off the hook is essential to finding balance and reconnecting with you. The big news is that there is more hooking you than your phone or checking your Blackberry every other minute.

There are hooks that take you out of the present, fog your clarity, and even steel your power away. These hooks can be self-imposed or thrown out there by others for you to bite (hook, line and sinker). Take a minute. You know “who” and “what” hooks you don’t you? Can you see the faces and hear the words? It can be guilt, expectations, honoring the needs of others before your own, the success carrot at the end of your career stick, fear and even a yet to be fulfilled dream.

Do you seek balance? True balance can only be found when your actions and life practice are aligned with your true self. Hooks can be more than tempting. They can have power over you, especially when they are self-imposed by your ego. Notice when you literally feel pulled to do something against your will. The pull can be physically (let’s hope not), psychically, emotionally or energetically. Notice that the pull of a hook will send your mind into over time evaluating, second guessing, worrying and pleasing. A pull from your true self will feel calming, sure, and leave little mind activity. Resistance is a sign that a hook is present. If you are resisting something, ask yourself if the resistance is the hook or if what you are resisting is the hook. For example, you could be in an unsatisfying relationship. Ask yourself if you are you resisting commitment to a person that is aligned with your true self or are you resisting the truth that the person is not really for you?

When you feel hooked, stop and take yourself off. Detach and regroup. Let your energy drop down to your heart and check in with “you” to see what your truth is and then let your actions follow. A good little test is that “If it’s not a YES than it’s a NO”. If what’s pulling you is not a total YES then chances are it’s coming from a hook. There are times when we do things that are not a total YES. See if you can shift these actions to a conscious choice vs. a reaction to remain aligned and in balance.

Do take your phone off the hook as well, exercise because it feels good not to lose weight, or pursue a project just because your passionate about it. And, YES turn off your phone, Blackberry and computer. As you do, feel yourself being taken off the hook to enjoy the peace you deserve.

Here’s Five Steps to Let Yourself Off the Hook:

1. Acknowledge or notice that you are hooked. Regardless of where the hook is coming from or whose at fault (an argument, disagreement, or something or someone getting to you is a sign of a hook!). The important step is admitting you are hooked - this immediately gives the hook less power.

2. Ask yourself what or whom you are hooked by? What set you off? Take responsibility and in turn take your power back by realizing regardless of the situation, you allowed yourself to be hooked. Pinpoint and put words to the hook.

3. Explore what the hook is hooking into within you. Just like a hook that catches the fish, the hook has to have something to hook into - the fishing hook has no power unless the fish bites! If someone says something that makes you feel guilty, you are likely embodying guilt or carrying guilt from some past experience. Otherwise, there would be nothing for the guilt provoking person or communication to hook into. For example, I was raised Catholic and guilt was a cornerstone for communication in our family. I made the choice many years ago not to “do” guilt and then I married a Jewish man! Because we have guilt (and much more) in common, guilt is still a tempting hook in my life but I choose not to bite anymore.

4. Create clarity. Observe the hook, what it’s hooked into, and find your clarity and final position on the situation, topic or person. Powerfully state and/or write down your bottom line and communicate it. This will bring you back into alignment with your truth, calm you down and allow you to move on or beyond the hook.

5. Trust and stand in your power. Maintain your alignment by supporting yourself. If someone reacts or things don’t work out exactly how you would like, trust that your alignment and power is much more important and will attract new people and experiences into your life that are more aligned with who you are.

For help unhooking, leave a post here with the situation and otherwise enjoy your new found freedom from hooks! For more articles, insights and tools to live true, I invite you to sign up for my FREE membership.

I’m back on the mainland with a rough re-entry on a red eye arriving just in time for my husband’s birthday. Was I ever in Maui on my own for 9 days? Which brings me to my biggest insight. True freedom has very little if anything to do with being alone. With that said, the gift of time alone is that you get to see exactly what is keeping you from experiencing absolute freedom. Anything other than feeling free is an illusion created by your ego and resistance of the choices you’ve made and the life you’re living. Easier said than done? Perhaps a life long journey or not? I’m diving in now.

Before I give you a list of my insights I want to share a few more Maui experiences. I went to Hana to visit Lynette, my son’s Nanny when we lived on the Island. If you haven’t been there it is a trip - literally. Everything looks different, resonates at a different level and takes you to another realm while still being planted on earth. We drove up to her house (Directions, take the lower road, look for the 20 mile an hour sign, a blue roof and we’re right there no numbers or bread crumbs to follow). We drove up to what looked like a boarded up house. Lynette was no where to be found, only my voice on her answering machine blaring through out wide open house. We walked to the back to find Bubs, the lovely elderly woman Lynette is care taking. There she was staring off to Hana Bay, one of the most beautiful views I’ve seen on Maui in a long time. We eventually found Lynette and also met Babes (87) Bubs (89) sister. Both of these women are icons in the Hana Maui culture having played significant roles in the community. It is custom to care for the elders (Kupuna) so the entire community thanks Lynette daily for coming to care for Bubs and fixing up the house that was once ready to be condemned. These two sisters warmed my heart and coming in and out of “being here” they had a wonderful giggling sense of humor. My favorite moment was coming into the bedroom (where the only bathroom was) and hearing Bubs say to Babes, “I thought you were going to get up?” and Babes saying, “Me too but then I looked and I was still lying down.” We were able to leave them for a bit and visit the incredible Red Sand Beach (and so topless, shhhhhh) and Venus Pools - gloriously beautiful and I saw some dragonflies the size of helicopters hovering over the fields.

The next day was a total contrast. I spent the entire day at the Ritz Carlton Spa with an amazing Lomi Lomi Massage (gift from my amazing client) and 3 of everything else - saunas, jacuzzis, cups of herbal tea, nuts and a walk and a swim. The decadence for a Mom of taking my time during all of it especially showering was perfect. I even read an article called “Momcation” in body and soul written by a woman who went to Kuai. On my walk I found myself processing/completing the last six years of my life. As I walked I allowed all the memories to come together in one place in my heart from the hotel we stayed at before marriage, our first condo we bought on Kapalua Bay, the clinic where we found out we were pregnant (another story/miracle in itself), the home we built on Plantation Estates, the condo we have now. What a day.

Now the Insights…the biggest luxury of that time was to allow myself to explore and listen to all the great things that are sent to me. My favorites were: Scott Blum who founded Daily Om and wrote Waiting for Autum and Gay Hendricks author of the Big Leap (I’ve ordered this book). They can both be found at InsidePersonalGrowth.com. I also caught an Interview with Mary Hall a well known EMT person (moves stuck emotions for increased vibration). She is teaching an abundance group coaching program that I am participating in June.There was more but here goes my insights into freedom:

1. You are always free. It’s a matter of what’s blocking you from experiencing that freedom. The number one blocks are stuck emotions and fear resulting in “you holding yourself back”. In blunt terms you create your own constraints or even feeling trapped. Mantra: I am Free, I choose Freedom now.

2. The path to Freedom is to take responsibility for “What Is” (see last post) and choosing Freedom. You have a choice. You can use your power to let go of what’s stopping you or to let yourself be stopped at any moment. Fear is not who you are. Your ego uses fear to keep you safe. When you give in to fear, you rob yourself of your own freedom.

3. Family is a source of love. My relationship with freedom stopped when I got married and had my son. I realized I didn’t know what to be excited about anymore. My heart longed for love and so I created my family and now I have so much love. I healed that disconnect and now I am loved and free to be me. I am excited about letting go of all that once was. It opens up what is to be next.

4. Dreams can entrap you. If you become attached to anything even a dream it can restrict your freedom to be present and create in the moment. I let go of all of my past dreams on this trip. I’m open to receiving the new ones or more than I can dream of, I am open. Open is free. Attached is not. When you are open you have freedom to create. When you’re attached there’s no space for anything new to show up.

5. True freedom is letting go, letting go, letting go and letting go again. Liberation is full expression in the moment and trusting what’s next.

Now my practice begins. Choose freedom. Open up. Create and receive. Join me?